So Far Away
by My Black Backpack
Summary: Song fic to the song So Far Away by Crossfade. James changes for Lily, by the time she sees this, James is gone.


**Disclaimer: **not mine..

**Author's note:** I've had this in my head for at least a year and a half. I hope you like it!

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_**I've been changing but you'll never see me now**_

_**I've been changing but you'll never see me now**_

_**Now I'm blaming you for everything**_

The Hogwarts Express had just pulled into Platform 9 ¾. Everyone was in a hurry to find their parents and finally be home for summer.

James Potter craned his long neck over the bustling crowd and found who he was looking for. As Lily moved to go to her parents, James grabbed her wrist and she turned around.

She wasn't shocked to see him there, and asked, "What is it?" in a slightly bored tone, expecting the usual answer.

"What do I need to do to have you? For you to like me?" James asked, with sincerity shining through his bright hazel eyes.

Lily was surprised; he had never asked this question before; it had grown into a custom of "will you go out with me" and "no I will not, get out of my face".

She collected her thoughts and replied, "You need to change,"

_**No more holding it in**_

_**How many years can I pretend**_

_**Nothing ever goes the way it should**_

Just two weeks into their 7th year, Lily was already having trouble in Transfiguration.

She was muttering angrily under her breath when James approached. He had to grab her wrist to stop her from waving her wand into his face when she finally noticed he was there.

"What are you doing over her? Come to laugh that I can't get this right when you finished ages ago?" She said, with a nearly undetected snarl.

"No…I just wanted to show you what you're doing wrong. You almost have it, you just need to tweak your wrist a bit more,"

"I don't need you to tell me what to do, Potter. I can figure this out myself, thank you very much. I can't even trust the advice you give me. I'd probably end up blowing something up if I used _your_ advice. This is just another opportunity for you and your little friends to get a laugh, isn't it? Leave me alone, Potter. I don't need to deal with you right now."

"I'm trying to help you! Do you want to get this right, or spend the rest of class getting angrier by the second?"

"The only _thing_ that makes me angrier by the second is you. So, by you leaving, I avoid that. Go."

Lily thought she saw hurt in James' eyes, but it was masked too quickly with annoyance for her to be sure.

After he left, she rethought what happened. _Maybe I was a bit harsh…but I can't trust the stupid prat. He's never come over to offer help before, why should he now? It must have been some trick._

But some part in the back of her mind knew otherwise.

_**No more sitting in this place**_

_**Hoping you might see it my way**_

_**Cause I don't think you ever understood**_

_**That what I'm looking for are the answers**_

_**To why these questions never go away**_

"Why can't she see how much I like her?"

_**I'm so far away**_

_**I've been changing but you'll never see me now**_

_**I'm so far away**_

_**Now I'm blaming you for everything**_

James was standing in the hall with the Marauder's as Lily walked passed him. He started to wave but she continued walking; her eyes slipping pass him as if he wasn't even there.

_**No more waiting for the end**_

_**Of every day that I will spend**_

_**Wishing that I only had a choice**_

"Come on, James! We haven't pulled a prank all year long! This one isn't even up to our normal standards and it's just Snivellus anyways!" Sirius whined for the sixteenth time.

"No! Shut up, Padfoot! I told Lily I'd change and I have!"

_**No more pushing you away**_

_**Cause I will be busy watching things going my way**_

_**Never looking back on this anymore**_

_**Because what I'm looking for are the answers**_

_**To why these questions never go away**_

"Why can't she see how much I like her?"

_**I've been changing but you'll never see me now**_

_**Now I'm blaming you for everything**_

As James walked down the hall, he felt his legs go stiff and struggled to keep his balance. He took out his wand and said, "Finite incantatem," before turning to see Snape leaning against the wall behind him, pointing his wand at James' chest.

"You choose to curse me and that's all you do, Snape? What is that, a joke?" James scoffed, but kept his wand up.

"No, just trying to get your attention, Potter. I want a duel. Tonight, at midnight."

James laughed, "You're not worth my time, Snape," James began to turn away but felt his legs go rigid again. He began to fall over but steadied himself on the wall. He reversed the curse and looked back to Snape, his wand still up.

"Fan of that one today are you?"

Lily rounded the corner and saw James and Snape with their wands pointed at each other, glaring.

"God Potter, must you always be in a ridiculous fight? You're Head Boy, you should be passed petty duels in the corridors," She said, glaring furiously at him.

James sighed and lowered his wand, "And you're Head Girl, shouldn't you be passed making snap judgments of what's going on? Snape cursed me with my back turned. I haven't even retaliated,"

Lily rolled her eyes, "Sure Potter, because that sounds _so_ much like you,"

"Maybe if you took the damn time to even pay attention to me this year, you would realize that it does! Did you notice that I haven't pulled one prank? I haven't jinxed or cursed one student? And I think I've done a pretty good job as Head Boy! You told me to change; well, I did; you just fail to see it."

_**I'm so far away**_

_**Hey hey watch me wave**_

_**Goodbye to yesterday**_

_**Nothing left in my way**_

_**He hey I've been saved**_

_**With sun shining on my pain**_

_**Getting me through this day**_

James knocked on Lily's door. When she answered, he took a breath and said, "I need to tell you something,"

She looked at him curiously and said, "Alright, what is it?"

"I'm done. I'm done trying to make you see me for what I am. I changed for you and it didn't make any difference. What was the point? I'm done waiting for you, Lily. I'm done with you,"

_**Hey hey watch me wave**_

_**Goodbye to yesterday**_

_**Nothing left in my way**_

_**Feels so good to say**_

James turned to go to his room, but Lily said, "Wait. That's it? You're just…done? I thought you cared about me?"

"I did care about you; that's the point-I _did_. Not anymore, Lily. I'm done."

"James, wait, please!"

"No, it's too late, Lily,"

_**I'm so far away**_

_**I've been changing but you'll never see me now**_

_**I'm so far away**_

_**Now I'm blaming you for everything**_

_**Now I'm blaming you**_

_**I'm so far away**_

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That's a chapter and a new story in one night! I'm back! 

Please review!!!_**  
**_


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